Corona Positive

Corona curfew is helping me to get over my ‘ Three minutes Syndrome’. I picked up this disease from the Military Academy while undergoing training.

In the Military Academies there’s a Mass punishment called ‘ Patti Parade’. It is given to a group as a therapy for ‘Collective Behavioral Abnormality’. For the sake of my non Military friends, Patti parade is a Mass Punishment given to a Group of Cadets in Military Academy, generally when the group misbehaves and No one owns up.

The Patti parade is conducted by an Officer Instructor or a Senior Under Officer (Cadet). At an appointed time, the group is called to a particular place to Fall-in, generally near the Living Quarters of the Cadets.

Cadets are asked to assemble wearing a particular dress, say, Working dress. Anyone coming late will be given on the spot punishment like Front Roll or Push ups etc. When every one assembles, the group is asked to change into another dress, say PT Dress and come in sharp three minutes. Anyone coming late will be given Front Roll or Frog jump or some other muscle building exercise.

After every dress change, there will be checking. Whether the dress is correct, property ironed, buttons are okay, shoe laces are tied properly, shirt is tucked in properly, there is a hand kerchief in the left pocket, hair is combed properly, shoes are polished, anything of brass is shining and so on. Any fault, punishment is separate. Some times, Cadets hear differently and land up wearing different dresses. Hearing should be sharp and clear. Again three minutes time is given to change into Overalls or Dinner dress. Any one coming late automatically starts rolling. This dress changing continues for five or six times or till the Instructor feels that the Group will ‘Behave Normally thereafter’. One should see the room of the Cadets after the Patti parade. Everything thrown here and there, in total shambles, and he himself physically crushed.

Patti parade is a very good exercise for mind and body coordination. It teaches the value of time. The importance of keeping dresses in the right place is reemphasized. The rush of Adrenalin is really felt either in Academy or at the Battle front.

I might have undergone too many Patti parades during my training in Academy that the ‘Three minutes syndrome’ got into my psyche. I started doing almost everything of routine in three minutes. Like going to toilet, brushing teeth, shaving, bathing, wearing any dress, eating food etc , I started doing in three minutes.

My wife Prema had the bad taste of my habit in the beginning itself. Right after our marriage ceremony was over, a huge feast (sadya) was arranged by the brides family. It was a very lavish lunch with about more than Fifteen dishes, three types or Payasam etc. served on huge banana leaf. As a tradition the Bride and Groom sit together along with others to eat. Prema started relishing the side dishes slowly. It was her marriage and she wanted to enjoy the taste of everything. Sure enough within no time, I had finished eating. I don’t like to keep fingers wet with food for long. Still I gave her some more time and said in Military style, “Shall we get up ?”. She said “yes” and got up. I did not realize then that she was hungry.

I continued suffering from the Three minutes syndrome, and my wife suffered. When we have to go for a function or party, I will finish dressing up while Prema will be still finalising her saree , Ornaments or make up etc. I will then be hurrying her up. She got used to my habit bearing me all these years.

Curfew has come as a boon to me. So much time available nowadays. I started brushing my teeth leisurely. I shave closely to get a smooth skin. I shampoo my hair frequently. I apply soap two three times till I get a screeching sound when I rub my finger on the body. Also use my shower in various degrees or temperature. I eat my meals slowly, till Prema shouts “ अब बस भी करो | Get up”.

Thanks to Corona, thanks to curfew, my habits are changing….

Colonel Ramesh Ramakrishnan

30 Mar 2020