A Broken Plate

Humour in Uniform # 1.

 A Special Sainik Sammelan of the Battalion was going on. Commanding Officer Col HS Gill was going on promotion cum posting. Since it was a special occasion, maximum attendance was mandated. 

All Sahayaks, mess/langar staff except one Cook each and all other ‘Excused types’ were asked to attend. 

The Second in Command was a very Senior Major OP Rana who was going on posting to NCC Bn. He ensured that there was no laxity in any arrangements. All pomp of the Battalion was on display. All officers were asked to wear the best of their ceremonial uniforms.

The Sainik Sammelan progressed well. CO spoke very nicely, at times a bit emotionally. He listed out all achievements of the Battalion during his tenure in all activities. It was giving an impression that, but for him, the Battalion would have been last in the order of merit in the entire Army.

Since it was a Special Sainik Sammelan no points were initially taken from Jawans.

As customary, Col Gill asked the Jawans for any point if they have. No point is  expected in such occasions.

The Adjutant was about to announce the closure of the Sainik Sammelan, Lance Naik Nacchattar Singh got up. His Company JCO was asking him to sit down.

The Magnanimous CO asked him to speak up. Then Nacchattar Singh spoke : 

“ साहब जी, आप एक बहुत अच्छा अफसर हैं | आपके कमान के दौरान पलटन बहुत बढिया काम किया है |  सब के तरफ से मैं आपको बधाई देता हूँ, शबाश !

 ( Sir, you are a Very good Officer. During your command tenure, the battalion did exceptionally well. On behalf of everyone I congratulate you “) And he saluted and sat down.

Everyone was stunned. CO was looking pale, yet red with anger. He looked at the Adjutant, who customarily looked down. Then CO gave a serious look to his 2IC. Maj Rana gave a Swallowing look to the SM, Subedar Major Kuldip Singh.

SM Sahab got up from his seat. He said

“ सारे जवान कान खोलकर सुन लें | बधाई देने का काम सिर्फ अफसरों का है |

CO साहब बहुत बडा अफसर है | जब चाहे, जितना चाहे शाबाशी, खुद ही ले सकते हैं |”

(All the Jawans listen carefully. The privilege to  congratulate is for Officers. CO is a very big Officer. Whenever he wants, can congratulate himself was much was he wants.)

Col Gill abruptly got up fuming. Adjutant too jumped up and announced “ Special Sainik sammelan का कारवाई समाप्त किया जाता है (The special sanik sammelan is declared closed)

Colonel Ramesh Ramakrishnan

29 April 2020